Celibacy could save me (but I'm too horny)
On morning sex, libido supplements, and why Sensory Play is the only reset I can commit to.
Morning sex feels like raw, unfettered desire—or biting into a fleshy overripe peach.
I almost forgot how good it feels to slip out of sleep and into someone’s arms, pressing yourself into a kiss before you’ve quite opened your eyes. It’s rare that I get to wake up next to a lover, since it’s rare that I spend the night in someone else’s bed. Or allow them to stay in mine.
On Friday we woke up to rain, headaches, and lust.
I met him on the bathroom line at Public Records the night before. When I asked him where he was from he told me,
“Heaven.”
Of course he’d say that.
I missed flirting flecked with personality—even if my gut told me his banter, paired with full brown lips I’d have to stand on my toes to kiss, only spelled fuckboy.
Later, we danced close, legs interlocked in a grinding sway. He kept telling me I smelled good. And I tried not to stare at his smile, or his eyes, or the way his curls framed them perfectly.
I tried really hard not to be hopeful. And I did not succeed.
I’ve been wondering what that night would have felt like if we didn’t fuck. If all we did was kiss and I said I’d like to wait. But the truth is I never want to wait.
And I wonder if that’s bad.
Celibacy and other kinds of sex breaks are trending across the internet: Let’s get into it.
To fuck or not to fuck: is celibacy worth it?
Ever heard of the term “boy sober”?
While tech giants scramble for new ways to monetize sex and romance in 2025, women are choosing celibacy over another situationship. Some babes woke up and realized that their career, their education, and their peace meant more than a date turned accidental ONS.
But is it really celibacy if you’re just waiting for the right person?
We have meaningful lives outside of sexual or romantic pursuit. Despite what Hollywood insists, we don’t need a partner to feel fulfilled. Maybe a moratorium on sex is a dating reset worth taking.
That said, I’d never survive the hiatus.
Which is embarrassing to admit, especially because few people I’ve fucked lately actually deserved to be anywhere near my pussy. Maybe a break would help me get brutally honest about who’s really worth it.
But wait! Bumble wants to find you love.
Yes, the app condemned celibacy in their 2024 ad flop, but Whitney Wolfe Herd wasn’t CEO then.
After co-founding Bumble and Tinder (weathering HR scandals an girl-boss bashing at both), she’s back and here to “focus on love.”
Expect dating-coach-meets-AI driven matchmaking based on shared values and more thoughtfully built profiles—hopefully without the blurry selfies or endless group photos.
But if you’re done with the apps and celibacy isn’t your jam, there’s a secret third thing…
Julia Fox’s reawakened libido.
Fox was boy sober too, but now she’s back in the game thanks to Kourtney Kardashian’s new sexual wellness gummy.
I believe in supplements overall, but a Horny Goat Weed & Maca Root chewable yet to be FDA vetted leaves me with more questions than conviction. Regardless, Kourtney’s foray into the intimacy industry offers another example of the health-ification of sex.
Lemme Play is as cute as it is marketable—and that’s the point.
Ultimately, I respect the mainstream attention on women’s pleasure. So, whether the gummy works or not, it’s sparking conversation—and maybe even a late night date with your shower head.
And since we’re we’re trying to be more mindful about our sex lives, allow me to walk you through a mini guide on sensory play.
IMO, you can still be kinky while you’re swearing off sex.
When’s the last time you considered the texture of your lover’s palm against or skin? Or the sound of a zipper coming undone? Or the first taste of someone’s clit in your mouth?
Hopefully you savor every sensation firing as you slip your fingers insider their mouth, because honestly, to sense is a gift.
What is Sensory Play anyway?
In simple terms, it’s the eroticization of the five senses: taste, touch, smell, sound, and sight.
Which, if you think about it, makes most kinks sensory based by default.
What makes this kink stand apart is its intentional breadth rather than depth into any one experience. It’s more pleasure focused than pain driven, though if sadomasochism is your thing, then you’ll still find refuge here. Additionally, Sensory Play doesn’t involve an inherent power dynamic for an entire play session. You can add that in if you’d like.
And of course, as with any play, discussion of consent, boundaries, desires, and limits is paramount.
Do I need special toys and tools?
Not at all! Kink never requires any equipment unless you’d like to indulge yourself.
Sensory Play builds off of what we already have access to: our bodies and their unique experience of the physical world.
Sensory Stimulation vs. Deprivation
There is always sense and its absence.
Limiting one sense intensifies the others.
The sudden sound of you voice in someone’s ear hits a little different when they can’t see you coming.
What could play look like?
I recommend blindfolding your partner with a sleep mask or large scarf to start.
The room will melt away, forcing their body and mind to become reliant on other stimulus, heightening every sense.
Try: running your fingers along their body, especially sensitive areas like the inner thigh, neck, feet, underarm, etc. Grab different kinds of fabric or objects such as satins, denim, hair brushes, or maybe even a fork to press against their skin.
Play with temperature. You can place an ice cube in your mouth or drink hot tea before you kiss or place your mouth on their vulva, penis, or nipples.
Play with sound. You can use earplugs or noise cancelling headphones to intensify the experience of touch even more. Or, you can play ambient music to increase relaxation.
Play with taste. A fun game might include asking your partner to tell you what you’ve placed in their mouth or asked them to lick while they’re still blindfolded. This can be a body part, different objects, or even food. Food play is a kink unto itself, but I’d argue licking whipped cream off of someone’s stomach is still Sensory Play.
Toys: If you want to involve tools or implements I suggest Wartenberg Wheels, Floggers (they can be chain, leather, or another material, but do your research), Massage Candles, and Ball Gags.
Truly, the world is your oyster here. Get crafty! Have fun. Be very safe.
I’m intent on having a very safe & slutty summer, which obviously means checking out new play parties.
This weekend I finally applied to several new communities with my friend from college. Of those applications, I submitted one to Sucia NYC.
Weekly Spotlight: Sucia NYC
This is a Brooklyn based POC centered play party & lifestyle community. I’ve heard such glowing reviews about the space and its organizers, so if you’re looking for a party that isn’t predominantly white, then you’ve found it.
Sucia hosts socials, play parties, and queer centered events.
I’ll be sure to report back if I get vetted & attend one of their upcoming experiences. But in the meantime:
Watch this WHOREible Decisions x Sucia podcast episode
Apply for Sucia NYC and/or Sucia Queer
Apparently, we have another week of rain coming up in NYC, but here’s how you can get outside anyway.
As always, if the event is sold out, don’t shoot the messenger 🥴
The Feels (4 Dating)
Wednesday, May 14th: Queer Edition | 6:30pm
The Red Pavilion (4 Spicy Night Out)
Wednesday, May 14th: Ropes and Rhythm | 7:00pm
Thursday (4 Dating)
Thursday, May 15th: Singles Only Rooftop Bar | 6:30pm
First Round’s On Me (4 Dating)
Thursday, May 15th: Rolling With Strangers | 7:30pm
No Request Records (4 Flirty Partying)
Thursday, May 15th: Spring Flow @ The Flower Shop | 10pm
Get Real With Dakota (4 Flirty Socializing)
Saturday, May 17th: The Pleasure Lab @ Madame X | 2pm
Now go forth & be human! Maybe I’ll see you there 🤭
In love & lust,
Connie