Hinge Is For Networking Now
Love? Paywalled. Dating? Cooked. At least Bellesa's vibrators are silent.
On Saturday, a gorgeous neuroscientist asked me to be her girlfriend. And, to be clear: I’ve never been asked out before.
My college ex-boyfriend and I kind of tripped & fell into dating.
We were two 22 year-olds, way too familiar with the insides of Emergency Rooms (hello medical trauma), desperate for love, recognition, and fucking care.
When we broke in 2023, I never thought my next relationship(s) would be polyamorous.
Let alone with two devastatingly smart PhDs—one in contract law and the other in behavioral neuroscience.
They’re the first secure relationships I’ve had.
Anywho, enough about me. Here’s what’s hot, sexy & a little depressy:
Ever heard the expression “married to their career”? Gen Z is using dating apps as a networking hack.
Let’s Talk About The Dating App Monopoly
ICYMI: One tech company owns all of the major dating apps—Tinder, Hinge, Match.com, The League, Chispa, BLK, Archer, OkCupid & more. Meet Match Group ($7.75 billion valuation).
What you need to know:
Death To Tinder— Match Group’s stock tanked 10.2% in February, and their new CEO, Spencer Rascoff, admitted dating apps feel like a “numbers game.” Users are leaving, investor trust is crumbling, and swiping fatigue is at an all-time-high. Basically, the business model is flopping and we love to see it.
The Class Action Lawsuit— Filed in February 2024, Clarkson Law Firm is suing Match Group for emotionally and financially manipulating its users 😀 Apps say they want to help us find love. In reality, they want us paying $20/mo minimum.
Dating App “Addiction”— Newsflash, Tinder’s swipe feature wasn’t designed to find your “person”, it was built to get you hooked. Jonathan Badeen, Tinder Co-Founder & “swipe” inventor, based it on the “Skinner Box” (to him, we’re no better than reward addicted pidgeons).
Men Irritate Me But…Y’all Are Down Bad Too
Did you know you can download your user data from Hinge? Because a journalist and her Hinge match-turned-boyfriend did—and when they compared notes, the results were brutal.
Men make up over 60% of Hinge users.
Men also send more likes & messages than women (for similar results).
If men are putting in overtime on these apps, why does it feel like they’re the ones avoiding deeper connection?
The answer? It’s not that simple.
Active user ratios vary from city to city.
Not all women get to be picky—race still affects desirability.
And all of us are so disconnected, exhausted, and overstimulated that we’ve lost the skills to actually be present with each other (if we developed them at all).
What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You…Depressed AF
If you’ve ever wondered: “Why do things feel so fucking impossible right now?”
Well, it’s not just Seasonal Affective Disorder, shit’s genuinely harder in dating, careers, and mental health than ever.
Now our parents & their parents were going through it too, but just from a statistical perspective, we’re getting ghosted by jobs, relationships, and entire institutions way more.
So, we avoid investment to mitigate the hurt. But the gag is we’re just waiting to feel truly seen (classic avoidant attachment):
90% of my Gen Z babes are on the apps to find love.
And 56% of Gen Zers plus 51% of Millennials are too scared of rejection to truly reach out for romance.
And there’s an overwhelming amount of transference between work and dating. Ever heard the expression “married to their career”? Gen Z is using dating apps as a networking hack.
More and more the game feels rigged. And all I smell is bullshit.
We’re just hoping to get lucky, and trying not to get fucked up too bad in the process while we cross our fingers, ugly cry, and voice note rant to our friends.
So, silent vibrators are a thing now. The only sounds you’ll have to muffle are your own moans.
Ok, I probably just depressed the fuck outta you, so now I need to make up for it by helping you 💦 or something; I’m sweet like that.
I’m On A Budget
Bellesa is up to 50% off Sitewide with code SPRING50.
Blowjob Helper ($19): Move over Tenga, we’ve got a miracle stroker with the texture of Zeus’ chiseled abs. And it’s easy af to clean.
Diskreet Air ($24): Apparently this one is squirter approved, so throw a towel down & get ready to be sucked away (I’m so sorry I literally cannot help being corny).
The Demi Wand ($29): A beginner-friendly waterproof wand in a cute (and discreet) spring yellow case. Multi-speed settings will take you there in no time.
I Deserve A Little Treat
Deep Dive Strapless Strap-On ($74.99): If you’re not into the harness & buckles then Lovehoney’s rechargeable strap-on might be for you. It comes with an insertable bullet vibe so you can feel everything.
Mio Vibrating Cock Ring ($87.20): Perfect for partnered play with room to stretch around the nuts & bolt if you know what I mean (sorry, Substack).
KeyVibe ($99): Bellesa takes incognito to a WHOLE other level. Don’t mistake this vibrator for your actual car keys or you’ll be literally locked out. It’s remote controlled & attaches to your panties, hehe.
My Sugar Parent Is Expensing This
Whisper Rabbit ($119): So, silent vibrators are a thing now. The only sounds you’ll have to muffle are your own moans. Good luck with that. Bellesa’s clit & G-spot stimulator is on DND.
Womanizer Enhance ($159): If the Berliners are raving then you know it’s good—Lovehoney’s cute little pink sucker is BIFI certified with an alleged 100% orgasm success rate.
F1S™️ V2 ($199): If you’re into Nascar and high-tech orgasms then you should take Lelo’s stroker for a spin. It scares me a little but I also wish I could use it 😭 Sadly I don’t have the anatomy.
Happy cumming!
I created Get F*cked so we can use the internet to get off of the internet.
Ok, the moment we’ve all been waiting for: Where doth one go to actually Get F*cked?!
Weekly Spotlight: Hit Me Up NYC
HMU isn’t just a play party—it’s an immersive community for polyamorous and kinky folks.
Of the NYC play parties I’ve been to thus far, it’s one of the most welcoming, queer friendly (without being a queer explicit event; I’ll highlight one of those soon)! And it trends just a wee bit younger than some other events I’ve attended. If you’re Gen Z, be open to connecting with more experienced folks. I’ve met best friends, mentors, and partners this way.
How to get involved:
There are two tiers of membership—Vetted & Private. Vetted members can attend all social events. Private members can attend social events and play parties.
To become a Private Member, you need a reference from another Private Member (like myself).
My recommendation: Put time, effort & care into your Vetted application, attend a bunch of socials once you get approved, make friends and ask them to sponsor you!
If You’re Not In NYC…
I sincerely apologize (lol I just live here). For my out-of-towners I recommend hopping on Plura, FetLife (tread with discernment & caution), Sensuali, and even Reddit.
These platforms will steer you in the right direction if you want to get off the apps and into an orgy.
I created Get F*cked so we can use the internet to get off of the internet. We do that by building community, so let’s use our chatroom! Ask questions, share your story, and be respectful because I am monitoring for safety 🥰
If the event is sold out, don’t shoot the messenger 🥴
First Round’s On Me (4 Dating)
DAILY: Dating Cafe (literally) @ 109 W 25th St | 8am-4pm
Thursday Dating (4 Dating + Partying)
Monday, March 17th: St. Patty’s @ Everything’s Jake | 7pm
Thursday, March 20th:
Singles Dinner Party 21-30 @ PDA| 6pm
Singles Dinner Party 30+ @ Calle Dao Chelsea| 6pm
The Feels (4 Dating)
Wednesday, March 19th: A Mindful Singles Event | 6:30pm
2Degrees (4 Partying)
Friday, March 21st: March Madness Party | 11pm
The Space Invaders Social Club (4 Poly + Kinky)
Thursday, March 20th: Fresh Meet @ House of Yes | 7pm
FUTCH (4 The Sapphics & Gays)
Friday, March 21st: FUTCH @ House of Yes | 10pm
That’s it for this week! Now go have fun IRL.
In love & lust,
Connie