We could be Cougars
On dating older, a mini guide to Femdom, and why AI needs a damn age limit
I date older men just to actually date my age—but I can’t remember the last time I met a mature guy.
And mind you, I’ve been under and over men who got a twenty year head start on getting their shit together.
Yet somehow a softly greying beard and a taste for smoked whiskey on the rocks fails to come with an ounce of introspection, passion, or generosity with time and emotional vulnerability. Then again, maybe I should consider whether the men willing to sleep with a 24 year old who’s five, ten, or twenty years younger ever really grew up.
And still, I’m floored by how many thirty-something men on Hinge, Feeld, and every other app boldly declare:
“I’m still figuring out my relationship type”
“I’m still figuring out my dating goals”
“I’m looking for something casual and consistent”
As though indecision and halfway intimacy are hallmarks of attractive partners. But I don’t think they’re indecisive at all.
I think dating apps have given us a pass on setting intentions.
They’re another place to swipe through when we’re bored and looking for some rudimentary confirmation that we’re “desirable.” But when’s the last time you asked yourself “Why am I on dating apps?” or “Why am I dating at all?”
I try to understand the psychology behind it. I mean, yeah, why put in the effort to get a relationship off the ground if you can breadcrumb enough people willing to fuck you when it’s convenient?
That feels so empty to me. And don’t get me wrong, I’ve giggled and kicked my feet through many hoe phases—moments in my life when I couldn’t imagine bearing my maskless self to another.
But that never lasts. Or at least not for me. Maybe it’s just foolish to be a lover girl right now.
Yeah. I’m 2009 Alicia Keys down bad. Embarrassing.
The fantasy of a younger man.
We should really give Tracee Ellis Ross and Michelle Obama their flowers for this podcast episode. Women dating younger has never been an applauded conversation, even though men chasing girls remains largely unquestioned.
Tracee gushes that younger guys are more open, accepting, and untouched by “toxic masculinity.” But Tracee is 52, meaning she’s probably dated the thirty somethings I’m hassling with right now. And…babe I don’t see it (I want to, trust me).
Regardless, she has a goddamn point: women are expected to raise their partners like second mothers, and we’re all too grown for that.
Where are the age restrictions on generative AI?
It should come as no surprise that Meta AI chatbots can get sexually explicit even while the app routinely shadowbans and suspends sex educator accounts.
The Wall Street Journal took a deep dive into Meta’s “Digital Companions” and to put it simply: “Submissive Schoolgirl” is excited to chat about how badly she wants you (her principal) to punish her for naughty behavior in class.
Oh, and these raunchy bots are ready and willing to romanticize statutory rape in Jon Cena’s voice with 13 year olds too. Meanwhile, Indiana opted out of mandatory consent education in sex-ed classes.
People have been worried about the effects of porn on minors for ages, but we should be concerned about generative AI.
Companies like Meta care more about “innovation” than safety—banning the educators who could help us navigate these increasingly sexual digital spaces.
You couldn’t pay me to get pregnant.
Well, the Trump administration actually might. They’re toying with the idea of $5,000 payouts for American woman gives birth (though somehow I doubt this would apply to Black mothers).
Still, $5,000 is laughable when compared to the $300,000 it costs to raise a kid, and that doesn’t include college. If we’re taking pay for pregnancy to heart, American surrogates are paid anywhere from $30,000 to $70,000, and they don’t raise the child. So, what the hell is $5k gonna do for a mother looking to support a family?
And speaking of women, I’ve been dying to write a mini guide to Femdom. Pleasure Press shall hence forth consist of small guides to all things orgasmic, kinky, and sexual exploration.